When I have a cute apartment and a puppy and a closet full of mini silk robes and take daycations in wet foggy forests with my friends and play random board games at 3am and make toast with honey mand jelly and drink matcha in the morning. Make açaí bowls every day with cumin cauliflower soup in the evening with crunchy French bread that snaps softly and flakes in half.
I’ll buy a tiny wooden shelf for vinyls and old movies and it’ll be underneath a record player. I’d have a nook near my bed for tea, color organized with lavender scented coasters for bulky mugs. I’d have an easel across from it with buckets filled with paint supplies and soft pillows for when I feel like laying on the wooden floors and look outside the window. I love how melancholy yet jaunty London feels even when the weather can be dull. That’s where it would be this artist’s apartment if I could. I’ll make pumpkin, lemon and apple pies every Tuesday. Or I’ll alternate and make cheese pastries like the ones from Porto’s, or I’ll change them and make vegan ones with honey to caramelize. I would wake up to the smell of licorice root and tree bark if the window is left open from excess rain left on the soil. I know my poetry isn’t that good I’ll embrace whatever I make though, it’s funny to look back on, never run from your insecurities or your mistakes because they’re only there to remind you of the beauty your present was made to be.
Especially if you’re a woman, do not. Let men or anyone who know nothing of you in real life outside of online content shame you. Only your family and friends can judge you because they are the only ones who provide support and comfort for you in times of need, do not entertain hate as often as you can manage. It is not your job to enlighten the darkness of others, if you are not obligated or committed to them, do not. This is critical. You live for the flower in your heart and your loved ones. Others images of you are purely fabrications of their own insecurities and circumstances. They must learn strength and peace to accept life on their own. You are meant for love. They are meant for love. But that is not a realization you are entitled to nor are responsible for. I gear my energy and my light for the elevation of freedom, determination, love and inspiration. Find your pathway if you are looking, and ask for guidance when needed from those who are willing and offer. ✌︎✌︎
A Journal / thought - blog by Doxy 