Do not feel stupid. You did not know that would happen, you are not to blame for how others treat you. There is no control you have over how failed attempts affect you, but you do however have a say in how you react to them. You are not perfect. You are allowed to cry, feel your feelings whether that is misuse, disappointment, anger, sadness, confusion or anything else that gives the impression you cannot grow. Because you have that power. Do not let this world or the creatures or substances of it break you. You are stronger and better than this so work out your feelings open and honestly without guilt or shame for being human.